Learning
by Hypercaine
Summary: "Pregnant. I'm pregnant!" I cried as my knees gave out beneath me. Twenty seven year old Bella is callous and bitchy. She, along with her best friend Edward, learn about life through a mistake on Bella's behalf. Rated M - future lemons. AH & OOC.
1. Chapter One

**I love EdwardxBella. But sometimes it's too hard for me to write pure Edward. Soz. But this is an Edward friendly story! (:**

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"Motherfucker!" I cursed loudly, throwing the little plastic stick hard at the wall. "Fuck!" I screamed again, watching it shatter lightly and fall with a clap to the floor.

I couldn't believe I had dug this hole for myself. My life was going fucking awesomely – and now this! I suppose I could peg the blame on that sexy asshole, but it would be lying – not just to everyone I knew, but to myself as well. I groaned as I pulled my sliding body up from against the bathroom wall and set about picking up all the pieces and shoving them into a box which went into a bag that went into the bottom of the waste bin.

I unzipped my skirt, pulled down my panties and sat my ass on the toilet. "C'mon," I urged my bladder. It shouldn't be this hard to take a piss. I mean come on! For fucks sake. Leaning over I turned the tap on at a slow dribble. "Ahh." I sighed. Much better.

I had actually taken the pregnancy test two days ago. But I was a coward. I had hidden it in the desk at work and refused to believe it. I was actually looking for a pen when I had come across it again. The tears that welled up in my eyes had threatened to spill over as I grabbed it and rushed to the ladies room. This is where I am now.

I was still sitting on the toilet – finished pissing – when a soft knock came at the door.

"Bella, honey? Are you okay?"

It was Edward. I still remember the first time I met him. I had just moved from Phoenix to Forks to live with my father, Charlie. School was horrible for me. Until he came – Edward. He was sick the first week and a half of my time at Forks high, Home of the Spartans. Back then I was bland and shy. I also had a habit of eating my weight in chocolate; needless to say I was fat. Not fat as in 'isn't she cute?' it was more of a 'fuck me, did she eat a cow or something?'

It was the lowest point of my life – until now – when he walked in and made me who I am today. I was being pushed around by the girls who had hung around the back of the school at lunch time and smoked, when he swooped in like a giant bat, flailing his arms and screeching that they were 'horrible, disgusting harlots!'

He had picked me off the floor and the first thing he did was inspect my nails, then shriek; "Look at these talons! By gosh woman, what have you done to your cuticles?"

He had then whipped out a manicure set and proceeded to cut, file, buff and shine my nails. Right there – in the middle of the hallway at Forks high school. I remember looking at him and thinking he was beautiful. In a gay sort of way. He had beautiful bronze hair – like a shiny penny – which was combed to the side in a messy I-tried-to-do-my-hair-but-it-came-out-like-this-and-i-still-look-fucking-amazing way. He had on a soft pink coloured shirt, tucked into black slacks and white shoes; you know the ones that are square at the end. He had topped it off with a couple of plastic bracelets and a lovely rainbow coloured scarf that bought out the emerald green in his eyes. He had peeked up and me through his eyelashes and smiled impishly. "You need some work, darling, but that has never stopped Edward! I'll make you a supermodel yet!" he exclaimed as he pulled me away into the parking lot. "Come, come. I want to know all about my new best friend!"

And that was that. He was my shadow from then on. He was my brother and sister. He was my best friend and my enemy. He was my everything. I loved him dearly. He protected me and let me cry on his shoulder. He was my everything.

"Bells?" his worried voice came through the door, pulling me from my memories.

"Yeah?" fuck. Damn it. My voice was all choked up.

"I'm coming in!" he called out loudly, like he was my knight in shining armour coming to rescue me from the dragon… and I suppose he was.

Being naked in front of Edward didn't phase me at all. Anymore. The first time he saw me he looked me over as I tried in vain to cover my assets. He had turned and told me "Honey, I don't swing that way!" with a smile and a wink.

He came in quickly and closed the door behind him and looked at me with his furrowed brow. "Bella bean? Are you okay?" he asked softly.

I opened my mouth to speak but shut it again just as quick when I looked into his eyes. This was not the time to lie. And it wasn't. I needed my best friend. "No." I said as I pulled my skirt and panties back up. Turning to flush the toilet I tried to dab at my wet eyes discreetly.

Edward didn't need to ask – he knew me. I washed my hands quietly while he looked on in worry. "I'm… I'm…" I couldn't get the words out. I was Twenty seven years old and I couldn't face it. Fuck my life.

"You're what, pumpkin?" he asked softly as he wrapped and arm around my shoulder pulling me to his body tightly. "what?"

"Pregnant. I'm pregnant!" I cried as my knees gave out beneath me. Edward didn't gasp or let his jaw drop to the floor – though I'm sure he wanted to – he just held me tightly and slid to the floor with me, rocking me back and forth, not telling me everything would be alright, because it wouldn't be. Not ever again. He just stroked my hair and spilled his own tears with me. 'cause that what best friends do.

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**Soooo. What do you guys think. It totally just popped into my head and I just wrote it. Review and lemmie know if I should keep going?**

**Soz to all my readers of all my other stories. But my mum had been in hospital for a long time and she only just passed away less than two weeks ago. I hope you understand. I'm only 18 and had a few things to sort out in my life without worrying about fanfics. Sorry again lovies!**


	2. Chapter Two

**Aww! I got a couple alerts and a story fave. And it's only been up like two hours! I'm so excited, so I decided to write some more! (:**

**Reviews are love guys. My lovely brain can't survive on only alerts and favourites.**

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I sniffed into Edward's shirt as I pulled my body away from his, standing shakily.

"Easy," he cooed as he steadied me with a hand to my elbow. Putting on a brave face I fixed my makeup silently and spun, pulling open the door and stalked towards my office.

I growled as a young boy – he must have only just been out of school – got in my way. Edward had caught up to me by now and wrapped an arm around my waist. "See this?" he called to the young boy, brandishing my positive pregnancy test close to the boys face. "This is what happens when you have unprotected sex!" the boy recoiled with horror and took off at a run toward the other end of the hall.

"Edward! Give me that!" I hissed as I snatched the half mangled plastic thing from his hand, shoving it down my bra – keeping it hidden.

God I could see it now! _Vogue Editor pregnant and breaking down at work! _

I slammed my door open and came to an abrupt halt just over the threshold. I couldn't fucking believe this motherfucking shit! Did it have to be now?

Edward saw that I was about to explode and sidled over to my father slyly and smiled. "Oh, Charlie!" he exclaimed, splaying his hands out like he had his camera in his hand. "Blue is your colour. It suits you beautifully. It brings out the seriousness out in your eyes."

Charlie growled and shoved Edward so he stumbled. "What are _you_ doing here, Edwin?"

Edward flitted over towards me and frowned. "Rude." He mumbled.

"Charlie," I started sternly – as if I was the parent and he the child. "You know his name's Edward – he's been my best friend for thirteen years. This also happens to be his workplace, the real question is, what are _you_ doing here?"

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me and scowled deeply. "Can't I come see you, Isabella?"

"No." I answered curtly, taking a wide berth around Charlie and taking a seat behind my desk, briefly looking out at the New York skyline before I swivelled and faced my irritated father and confused best friend.

"I am your father, Isabella and I have the right."

I scoffed. "You haven't been my father for a long time Charlie. Why are you really here?"

Charlie fidgeted nervously, but his face had fired up like a truck when I commented about his status as a parent. "I need money," he mumbled. Apparently he didn't want to argue today. Good. I didn't either.

I sighed, forcing the hormonal tears back. Charlie wasn't always like this… I supposed it was my fault too. At the end of senior year, Edward and I wanted to leave. Get out of that suffocating town. We both had big dreams. He wanted to be a fashion designer and I wanted to launch my singing career, wearing all Edward's designs when I made it big. When Charlie found out he insisted he come along with us.

We didn't have a problem with that. So Charlie sold his house and we were out of there. He found a nice apartment in Los Angeles and we both started out well. But after a year we knew it couldn't be. No one wanted a fat singer – no matter how good she was. Apparently the same was said for designers, no one wanted one if they were gay.

So we left and moved to New York.

Which was where Charlie met her. The evil step mother. Irina Denali. I still remember the day. Edward and I had been out, looking for jobs and we were both home, exhausted when Charlie came bouncing in. I knew nothing would ever be the same. And I was right.

She was alright – considering she was only ten years older than me – at the time, but things became awkward. She and Charlie wanted to move things along quickly, and apparently having his nineteen year old daughter and her gay best friend hanging around cramped his style. So we left. And things went downhill from there. They married and she squandered all his money away. Soon enough Charlie turned to drinking – he was depressed that he may not be able to support his new wife's lifestyle. So he came to me for money and I gave it to him. He promised he would pay me back – it was just a loan. Who cared if I had to put off college for a while? Charlie had supported me for years, it was the least I could do.

The only problem is it happened more often and more often. It killed me to see this happening and I tried to make Charlie see what she was doing, but he wouldn't hear of it. 'It's just a rough patch!' he'd say. I was now twenty seven and I hadn't seen a single cent of my money yet. He'd borrowed thousands. Each time the amount getting higher and the time shorter. I could never say no, no matter how much I knew I was being scammed. No matter how much he chose his wife over me.

"How much?" I asked flatly. Edward glared at me furiously, but he knew there was nothing I could do. Charlie's wife had gotten dirt on my whole life, and was threatening to go to the press unless she got what she wanted. It would ruin my career and Edwards along with it. I couldn't let that happen.

Charlie blushed and mumbled something to his knees.

"I didn't hear you." I said.

He spoke louder this time. "Three thousand."

"Three thousand! What could you possibly need _three thousand dollars_ for?" I screeched, my face was probably a puce colour by now, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Bills need to be paid, Bells! Money doesn't grow on trees, you know!" he yelled, standing up, his chair scooting back and falling on the soft carpet.

"I know!" I screamed angrily. "I'm the one who supports you and your bitch!"

He pointed one fat, thick red finger at me. "Don't talk about her that way Bella!"

"Or what? What? What could you possibly do?" I was standing by now too.

"Or I'll take those pictures and give the fucking press the story of a lifetime!" he screamed in my face, leaning across my desk.

Any reply I could have made died on my tongue as my mouth hung open. I was in shock. I couldn't believe my own father would do this to me – me!

I sat back down heavily and stared at the large wooden desk in front of me, trying to keep my tears of betrayal at bay. I took a deep breath and when I was sure I wouldn't start bawling like a baby I looked up at my father. He was breathing loudly – the alcohol he drank had forced a lot of weight on him – and his face was red with exertion. His mouth was a grim line and his brow furrowed. I looked into his brown eyes – identical to my own – and saw nothing but seriousness there. He wasn't joking. He would really do this…

Closing my eyes I sighed. "Okay," I whispered into the quiet room. "Okay."

Pulling out my check book and a pen I filled in all the right places but stopped when it came to the amount. My pen was hovering over the paper while I looked up at the two occupants of the room. Edward was frowning and looking away, towards the wall. I knew he hated to be apart of this – he took the guilt on himself. Charlie was watching my hand, a greedy look in his eyes.

Looking down I chewed on my bottom lip as Charlie shifted impatiently.

I wrote the amount and ripped it out, shoving my arm out towards Charlie. "Take it and get out. Don't you ever come back again." The venom in my tone made me think of a striking snake.

He snatched the paper from my hand and bought it close to his face to read the amount.

"F-fifty thousand dollars?" he stuttered, looking at me in confusion.

"Call it a pay off if you like. But if you ever come back here again – for _anything _– I will have you charged with blackmail. Now fuck off!" I snapped, not looking at him as I put the book and pen away.

I didn't watch him leaving, but the door shut with a soft click and I burst into tears.

"There, there Bella bean. Never fear, Edward's near." He cooed as I buried my face into his stomach, laughing and crying at the same time.

"God! I h-hate my life today!"

Edward breathed deeply to reply but there was a buzz from my phone and I reached over to press the button. "Yes?" I asked trying not to sound too choked up. It would do for my image.

"Mr. Masen is needed, Ma'am. There is a photo shoot in fifteen minutes he needs to do." My timid receptionists' voice came through the speaker. I liked Angela… as much as I like anyone – except Edward.

"Who is it, Angela?" Of course everyone knew he was in here. It wasn't scandalous or anything. Edward was a fag. Not much could go on that wasn't PG rated.

"It's Mr. Emmett McCarty, Miss Swan."

"Who?" I asked.

Edward butted in before Angela could reply. "Emmett McCarty! My belts and garters! Only the hottest basketball star since Michael Jordan! And I mean hot." He trailed off with a glazed look.

"I didn't know you watched basketball?" I was confused – Edward was the biggest anti-sports person I knew - next to myself, of course.

"Oh I don't. I just watch it for the men. Why is it all the sports stars are downright fuckable, but never gay?" he asked rhetorically as he walked from my door with a goofy wave.

I laughed and hit the button again. "He's on his way Angela. Thank you for the reminder."

"Any time, Ma'am."

I yawned as I bent down to get a sucker lolly from my bag – I had been trying to give up smoking – but stopped when I felt something hand in between my cleavage.

Frowning I shoved a hand down my top and felt around a bit, closing my hand around the object and yanked it out.

Looking down I sighed. It was my pregnancy test.

Throwing it in my bin I pulled my chair closer to my desk and entered my password in.

I bought up and internet explorer and googled the name that was haunting my thoughts.

_Jasper Whitlock._

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**So! Reviews please? :)!**


	3. Chapter Three

**My first review on this story! :) thank you Rosalie96. Oh, please don't kill me for addresses and places btw. I'm not American. (:**

**ONWARD WE GO!**

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"I don't know why you don't just call him, Bean face." I sighed and rested my head in my hand as Edward complained once again. "I could be on a hot date right now, you know? He was a pretty little thing, too!"

"God, why are you here then?" I snapped as I turned my head to look at him.

"Because that what best friends do, my delicate little flower." He answered simply.

I moaned. "Why couldn't you be straight? We could have fallen in love and been together for the rest of our lives!"

"Yes, such a sad turn of events it was, the day I decided I love penis as much as any woman and I'll tell you – My god! What is that foul woman doing to that poor man? She looks like she's eating his face!" He was screeching by the end of his sentence, rolling down his window to yell out at the kissing couple. "You might want to refine your technique honey!"

I choked a little bit on my spit and burst into loud, belly laughter. "Christ, Edward! Where do you hide your shame and modesty?"

"Hide? Baby cakes, I was born with none. I'll tell you, it would have been hard to run around my Aunts wedding naked as the day I was born at age ten with any!"

I giggled again and then fixed my hair as my thoughts turned self consciously towards my looks. I was going to see my baby daddy and I was not feeling up to par on my vanity today. "Don't worry, chookie, you look beautiful! Oh, could you imagine going to see him with what you used to look like? Baby Jeebus that would be a fashion nightmare!"

"I wouldn't even be in this position if I still looked like that." I mumbled. But I digress. I was a slob then. Grade A fucking bogan. My hair was always matted and greasy, I had ache and I was overweight. I was also a 'fashion nightmare' as Gayward had lovingly termed it.

Edward had helped me to be who I am today. I had shed weight like a bulimic going from one hundred and ten kilos to a nice even sixty. I wanted to go smaller but Fagward had made an excellent point – "You are grossly tall for a woman at five foot nine, and your hips, ass and boobs would look sucked in if you went any lower. No. You look perfect like this; well curved but still thin."

Not that he made me into something I was not. I had asked for his help. After the weight was gone we set on a whole new wardrobe and he demanded a haircut from my ass. The make up and accessories came later. He also taught me all about my body and hygiene. I'm just thankful I retained the information he threw at me. Edward with fashion and body facts is like a footballer talking about football. It was pure _him_. I honestly felt like I was thrown up on by a twenty five year old Californian woman.

The car came to a slow stop outside a stunning block of apartments as the cabbie turned around in his street. "'ere. Skansen Towers on 48th street. That'll be twenty three fiddy."

Throwing two twenties over the seat I told him to 'keep the change' and jumped out, walking briskly toward the apartments.

"Wait! Woman are you are not in a marathon! Slow down! Christ, my poor feet can't take much more running today – the things I do for you!" he called after me as he picked up my change from the cabbie, even though I didn't want it.

By the time he caught up to me, I was arguing with the doorman, demanding entry or I would throw a tantrum right there.

"You think I'm joking, do you? Don't make me do it; I will embarrass you so badly you won't want to show up to work for a month! Let me in, asshole!"

"She's seriously serious, doorman, sir. Please don't make her do it." Cockward pleaded as he came up to the both of us and then turned to me. "Deep breaths honey. You are a flower in a garden. A calm blue ocean. In. Out. In. Out. Do it with me," he started to demonstrate how and I copied along – not for his enjoyment but for my own sanity. "That's it. In. Out. In. Out."

I opened my eyes – when I closed them I had no idea – and gazed calmly, but menacingly at the fuckwit doorman. "May you please let me in? If not can you please buzz Jasper Whitlock and ask him to allow entry for one Bella Swan and her friend Edward?"

"Bella Swan? As in editor for Vogue magazine Bella Swan?" He asked, gaping.

"Yes." I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh man! Hey, you can go up if I can get an autograph for my girlfriend!" he said excitedly, putting paper from his pocket, along with a small sharpie.

I rolled my eyes to myself and signed the paper, only stopping to ask her name – Lauren – and shoved the paper and pen back to him. "Thanks," I glanced to his name badge, which was now sitting proudly on his puffed out chest. "Tyler."

He buzzed us in and pretended to look the other way when we walked in the giant glass doors. "Idiots; I'm surrounded by them." I mumbled to myself as I stopped at the elevator and pressed the 'up' button.

I looked around while waiting for the elevator. It was a snazzy place. White marble floors with high as ceilings. I watched Edward chatting up the concierge, who was male by the way.

"Come on, douche bag!" I called as the ding signalled the elevator was finally here.

Edward ran over, with the grace of a gazelle, and slipped inside as the doors closed. I pressed the 30th floor button and listened to that horrible music.

"Why must they play this screeching in all elevators?" apparently, Suckyward thought along the same train of thought as me. Which was not encouraging – thinking like a gay man. "It makes my ears bleed!" he whimpered as he pretended to cuddle up to me and rested his head on my boobs. "I'm telling you, if I was straight I would suck those titties like your future baby." He murmured into my chest.

"God," I sighed and pushed him off me as the ding sounded again. "And I am not breast feeding, for your information. I heard if makes the girls sag."

Edward snickered but didn't comment as we had reached Jasper's door.

I stood. And stood… and stood.

"Sweet baby jeebus." Edward muttered as his hand came up swiftly and knocked at the door.

"What'd you do that for?" I hissed to him.

His face scrunched up in confusion as he looked at me. "Well, we are here to see him. Not stand looking at his door."

"Don't be fucking smart, I know why we're here, but couldn't you have given me a minute or two?"

"A minute or two?" he laughed quietly. "Booboo, you were looking at his door for five minutes before I knocked!"

"I was not! Why do you have to be so fuc–?"

I cut off my sentence as a throat cleared in front of us and we both snapped our heads to the now open door.

I expected to look up into those blue eyes, but instead I ended up looking down. Into wide grey ones. Of a woman. A woman with short black hair and only a robe on. A woman who looked like she was trying not to laugh at mine and Edwards small argument.

"Hi! I'm Alice. Can I help you?"

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**I dunno if any of you saw that coming :D!**

**Review please, my honey sweet cakes. For Fagward. He gets emotional without them.**


	4. Chapter Four

**Yay! More reviews. *cough* I need pills – don't tease me. Anyway. Keep reading and reviewing, babies!**

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I stared. Of course I stared. When you have to go tell your one night stand he's about to become a daddy and some girl – no. Some gorgeous girl opens the door in stead of daddy… well then you stare.

Cuntward cleared his throat and stepped forward, his hand leading him. "Hello. I'm Edward Masen and this is Isabella Swan."

"Pleasure to meet you!" She sang as she took Edwards hand and pumped it up and down. "How can I help you?"

"We're looking for Jasper Whitlock. Is he here by any chance?"

"No. He's not. I'm sorry; would you like to come in and wait for him? He shouldn't be too long." She smiled at the both of us and opened the door wider, manoeuvring herself so we could come in.

I was about to decline when Fuckward chirped up beside me. "Thank you, darling," he called back to her as he shuffled me into the apartment. It was beautiful. It was a perfect blend of modern and antique, with a skyline view – kind of like mine.

I perched myself on the edge of the couch, self consciously wrapping my coat tighter around my stomach while Edward looked around at the place in fascination.

"Would you like something to drink?" the girl, no wait, Alice – I gotta remember not to call her 'the girl' unless I want it to slip out – asked.

"No." I mumbled, averting my gaze.

"Oh yes please, do you by any chance have any flavoured mineral water? That stuff just tickles me pink!" Edward asked as he followed her to the kitchen. God I envy that boy. He could walk into a bar of gay hating skinheads and be relaxed. It was just his personality.

I got up, my heels clicking as I strode across the loft to a shelf that had several pictures on it. One right at the front dated three months ago showed Jasper and Alice, gazing into each others eyes like they were the only ones on the planet.

Three months ago? The 'mistake' as I'd taken to calling it, happened not even two months ago. Fucking great. Now not only was I destined to be a single mother through a one night stand, I was also the 'other woman'.

I had the picture in my hand when the door opened and Jasper walked in – not noticing me – with a handful of food. "Alice, sweetie, I'm back!"

"Jazzy!" She squealed as she kissed him sound on the lips and took away the food.

"So I was thinking, that after eating we could go back to the bedroom and –"

I was thankful when Edward had walked in from the kitchen; effectively cutting off whatever Jasper was saying and diverting his attention.

"Who're you?" Jasper asked, frowning.

"Oh, Jazzy, honey, this is Edward Masen and his friend Isabella Swan, they came to see you." She smiled.

Jaspers head whipped around to face me when Alice's dainty finger pointed at me. His brow furrowed and I could see the anger bubbling behind the surface. "What are you doing here?"

I could tell he wanted to say more, but refrained in front of his now obvious girlfriend.

"We just came to speak to you," Edward said as he flitted over to my side, his arm wrapping around my waist. "Alone. I'm terribly sorry, Alice, dear, but could we borrow Jasper here for a few minutes, please?" he smiled charmingly at her and she grinned and nodded, not noticing anything out of the ordinary.

"I'll go dish up the food," she called as she pecked Jasper cheek and waltzed off into the kitchen.

Jasper – after making sure Alice had gone – stomped over to us and pulled me by the elbow, making me stumble and Edward scowl.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed as he closed the door and pulled me toward the elevator.

"Look, I know you don't want to see me but –"

"Damn straight I don't want to see you! Why are you here?" he spat at me as he pushed the button.

"I'll tell you, okay? Just let me go! You're hurting me!" I cried as I tried to pull my arm free.

"Hey," Edward's voice called from a few steps behind us. "Fucking let her go!" He might have been as gay as Pricilla Queen of the Desert, but Edward could sure pack a punch when he needed to – he was a fighter. Not that you'd ever know beyond all the pink and sparkles.

Jasper let me go, but the way he pulled his arm off me sort of flung me back and I ended up crashing into Edward's hard chest.

"Look, I know you think I'm here to ruin your relationship, but I'm not, okay? I just –"

"Oh really? Then why _are _you here? Huh?" he asked menacingly as the elevator dinged. "No. I don't wanna know. I really don't. Just get in the fucking elevator and don't ever darken my doorstep again!" he roared as he strode off towards his door.

A few tears escaped from my eyes as I got into the elevator and turned. "Fucking cunthead," Edward mumbled next to me.

Edward's vulgar words put the rage I needed into me. I pushed the 'door open' button and put my hand on the doors so they wouldn't close unexpectedly.

"Hey!" I screamed to his back. He turned and glared at me. "You're gunna be a daddy!" I called out, more tears coming to my eyes. I let the door go and pressed 'door close'. The last thing I saw was Jaspers shocked face as he looked at me.

"That could've gone better," Edward murmured next to me.

"You're telling me."

We stood in silence as the elevator went down. The ding signalled that we were at our floor and the doors slide open quietly.

Edward had pulled out a purple silk hanky from god knows where and waved it at the concierge as we were leaving. "_Au reviour_!" he called out in a throaty, husky voice. "_Au reviour, Mon Cherie_!"

I giggled as I waved stupidly to Tyler the doorman. Whatever Edward was, he was a good friend with a good heart, and he never failed to make me laugh.

I hailed a taxi and slid into the other side as Edward pushed me in impatiently.

"I love you, Ed." I told him quietly as I watched the New York streets go by.

"I love you too, Butterbean." He sighed as he kissed the top of my head.

I smiled sadly to myself. "Maybe you can be my baby's daddy?" I asked, only half-joking.

His body vibrated against me with quiet laughter as he lifted my chin up. "No, darling. That's not my place. Besides, could you imagine how the child will turn out if _I _was its father? No it's better this way. You keep your screaming bundle of snot and I'll keep my Coco Chanel clean."

I groaned as I laughed and smacked him. "Thanks for cheering me up, Fagward."

He smiled that beautiful toothy smile at me. "It's what I'm here for, Butterbean."

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**So… thoughts? I dunno if this one turned out as I hoped. I wasn't going to have Jasper be so cruel, but come on, if your one night stand came into your house where your girlfriend was, you'd be fucking freaked too.**


	5. Chapter Five

**Okay, some of you liked that last chapter and how Jasper reacted and some of you didn't. I appreciate honesty XD**

**Onwaaaaaaaaaaaaard!**

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"Am I the only one in this fucking building who knows how to spell? Don't bring me this shit! Type properly next time or you're fired!"

The gossip columnist Jessica grabbed her paper and bolted out my office door before I could actually fire her.

Sighing I placed my aching head into my hands and massaged my temples slowly. What was it Ed always told me? I was a flower in an ocean? No, that's wrong. Fuck it. I'm calm. Calm. In. Out. In. Out.

It had been a month since I had barged into Jasper's life again unexpectedly and by now the pregnancy had kicked into full gear. I was vomiting at all hours of the day and I couldn't stay away for more than five hours straight. I was also thinking a lot on what I was to do. Although I was raised to believe that being married before thirty was the end of the world, my parents surprisingly didn't make many comments about being pregnant before thirty or before marriage. Whichever came first… Both, in my case.

Edward had helped me a lot through everything, but even he couldn't stand the mood I was constantly in.

Sighing again I placed my head on my folded arms with a yawn and closed my eyes. It was just for a minute…

"Poke her."

I knew that voice…

"No. You'll wake her up!" another voice hissed. I knew that one too.

"That's the point you fairy!"

"But she looks so peaceful… not screaming at any one…"

There was a laugh. "Just poke her!"

"No! Poking is a boy's sport! I could break a nail!"

"Oh for heavens sake!"

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"What the fuck!" I screamed, jolting up right from my nap, my chair sliding across the floor, making me fall off and land in a heap on my ass.

Looking up I came face to blurry face with a cringing head of bronze hair and smiling head of blonde.

"Bella, darling. So nice you've joined us!" Rosalie's sarcastic voice rang out.

I mumbled something even I didn't understand and with the help of the still cringing Edward I pulled myself to my feet and slipped back into my now slightly cold chair.

"What're you doin' here?" I spoke through the yawn as I stretched.

"Just came to see my favourite editor in the whole of America! And her fairy boy too." She added on after a pause.

I rolled my eyes with a soft laugh as I smiled at her and told them both to take a seat.

Rosalie and I have been good friends for about three years now. She was a supermodel that had posed for our very talented photographer, Edward Masen, back in 2007. It was a mutual animosity when we first came face to face. She thinking I was nothing but a boring writer and I thinking she was an airheaded bimbo. We were both wrong. In the after of an after party for the launch of Victoria's Secret range that she had modelled – and we photographed – we had bonded, drunk over the fact we were both ugly ducklings our whole lives that grew into beautiful swans – me literally. We'd stayed in close contact ever since.

"Why are you really here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow that just screamed 'I am not in the fucking mood'.

Rosalie saw this and decided to be amazingly blunt - a talent of hers. "I just came to see if it was true that my favourite editor had been knocked up with no baby daddy around."

I groaned. "First off, stop calling me that. Second, never and I mean never use the term 'baby daddy' out loud again… It's true." I mumbled at the end.

"At least we're not beating around the bush here – not that I've ever beaten a bush before." Edward chimed in from where he was filing his nails meticulously.

"I don't really want to know, Ed!" Rose shrieked, her beautiful face crinkling up in an expression of disgust. Then her eyes lit up. "Guess who asked me out? Oh god!"

"God asked you out?" Edward asked innocently.

He got a punch to the arm for his efforts. "No, you idiot! Emmett McCarty! He was all shy and sweet! I can't believe it!"

I laughed at both my friends. Rosie was bouncing around in one spot, caught up in her memories of the day she was asked out and Edward was rubbing his now sore arm, scowling heatedly at Rose – I suppose because he had his sights on Emmett for himself.

I rolled my eyes at the both of them and was about to enquire further when my stomach growled loudly and I blushed – fucking blushed!

"Hungry?" Rose asked sarcastically.

"Obviously!" I replied, just as sarcastic. "Let's go down to that deli around the corner – they make fuckawesome rolls there." I said as I picked up my handbag and slung it over one shoulder.

As I at and munged out on my fucking amazing roll, Rosalie chattered away about Emmett and I now knew some seriously weird things about him, such as this underwear preference and apparently that me makes the sexiest noises when he blows his load. Huh. There are some things even _I _don't wanna know.

Edward was watching me practically destroy my roll in what was either awe or disgust. Possibly both.

Rosalie had popped a piece of salad into her mouth and hand chewed on it before swallowing and turning her blue eyes to me. "So… how are you handling everything?"

My mouth stopped working and it hung open still with food in it as I tried to get the right answer. I spat the food out onto the serviette and turned to Rose.

"Handling it? I am not handling it! I mean, really, I'm a single twenty seven year old woman that seems to have a problem with being able to be nice! The father is a one night stand who I do know by the way, but doesn't want a thing to do with either of us because he also happened to cheat on his girlfriend – who, by the way, I have met! And I can't even hate her because she's so fucking nice! There's also the fact that I am just not ready for a child I mean, they cry because they've shit and they shit because they've eaten and then they eat because they were crying! Not to mention they're always dripping in some form of goo! Let me tell you, children are notorious for runny noses and sticky hands – I fucking hate sticky hands! What about when it's older? How am I supposed to balance my already unbalanced life between work and a child who wants me to go to teachers meetings and school plays and the zoo? I'm going to be the worst mother on the planet!"

I collapsed in my chair, my face was heating up because by now the whole of the deli was watching me and I was pissed off. "What are you all looking at?" I barked at them.

Edward shifted in his chair. "Awkward." He sang under his breath.

"Come on honey," Rose said as she picked up my things, and pulled me out of the store. Edward rushed after us, his roll still in his hand.

Rose pulled me towards a bus station and sat me down. "Relax." She ordered me sternly.

I nodded but couldn't stop the tears springing up in my eyes. "My eyes are dry reaching!" I sobbed into her shoulder.

I could hear Ed chuckling on the other side of Rosalie but I couldn't even bring myself to care.

"I hate my life! My body is changing and I already have the little bump and I'm eating like I'm back in junior high!" I wailed, catching the attention of people passing by on the street.

Neither tried to comfort me with words. We just sat as I cried my heart out. I don't know how much time passed before Edward muttered a soft, "Oh fuck."

I didn't have time to see what he saw, because there was suddenly a shadow over me and a soft yet deep voice was speaking. "Is she okay?"

Oh, brilliant. Just what I needed. Jasper I-cheat-on-my-girlfriend-and-don't-use-a-condom Whitlock.

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**Sooo. I don't really like this one. But I wanted to get a post out… So oh well. Review my prettys!**


	6. Chapter Six

**I'd like to thank; jadedghost22, jaspersAngel09, radioballet19, Lili-So, Khallaea, jayjay333, fight-the-fire, acw1, ..xD, Lovinlife3792 and orionfoo for reviewing.**

**Special thanks to Rosalie96, NatalieLynn and JXB Addicted for their many reviews!**

**I would like to point out that I have never been pregnant – so I'm getting all my info from sites. I would also like to make a point of the fact that while I do have a gay uncle, he doesn't really act it. So yes, don't fault me if sometimes I loose Edwards' lines.**

**Onward, my trusty steed!**

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Awkward silences usually annoy me, I must say. But as I sat there with my face all puffy and blotchy with Rosalie staring daggers at the newcomer and Edward unsure as what to do, I couldn't help it – I laughed.

I seriously couldn't believe my luck. I must have done something in a past life, right? Maybe I killed a king or something; it's the only thing I could think of that would cause my life to fall to shit in less than six months.

I could feel the weird stares directed at me by the three people around me, they were obviously wondering if I had lost my mind – and maybe I did. I just couldn't stop.

"Am I o-okay?" I managed to get out between laughs. "Of course I'm not okay!" I screamed as I started to bawl again.

"Butterbean, you need to calm down!" Edward told me sternly as his hands fluttered over me, unsure what to do.

I couldn't handle this shit. I grabbed my bag and stomped to the edge of the sidewalk, hailing a cab. "I'll meet you back at work." I told Edward and Rosalie.

I opened the taxi door, totally ignoring everyone else and slid into the car. "Vogue building, thanks." I muttered to the driver.

There was a shout and the door was wrenched open as Jasper flung himself into the already moving cab.

"What are you doing?" I screeched at him, pushing myself closer to the door I was closest to – trying to get away from him.

"I'm coming with you." He told me. "And look, I know I freaked out when you came to my place, but what was I supposed to do? You show up at my house where my girlfriend was and announce that you're pregnant!"

"Well we wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't cheated on her in the first place!"

"I didn't cheat on her! We were broken up!"

"Oh and that makes it all better does it?"

"Yes! It does!"

"Well you're obviously not broken up now, are you?"

"She cheated on me first!" he yelled like a child.

"My god! So you went and cheated on her? Two wrongs don't make a right, Jasper!"

"She knows for fucks sake! She cheated on me and we broke up and I met you that night! I told her I slept with someone else – she doesn't care!"

I turned my head away from him childishly with my arms crossed and looked out at the New York buildings that were flying by. "Does she know?"

"I just told you she knew." He retorted.

"No – not… that. Does she know that I'm… pregnant?" I gulped the word out.

There was a sharp intake of air and I felt a warm hand rest slightly on my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. "You-You… were serious when you said that?" he whispered.

I snorted and narrowed my eyes at him. "Why would I lie? Where would it get me, huh?"

He removed his hand away from my shoulder and was silent, gazing into nothing.

We sat like that for what could have been hours when he muttered out loud, "Are you sure it's mine?" not looking up from his knees.

"Am I sure – Of course I'm sure, you idiot! I've only slept with one person in over two years! Do I look like someone who had multiple partners?" I screamed.

Before he could retort the taxi had pulled over and the driver demanded his payment. He looked frantic to get out of here, which I could understand. He had a squabbling one night stand couple in the back fighting about if the woman of the duo was a whore or not.

I had paid and jumped out in front of my work building, trying to get away from this when I was spun around gently.

He didn't say anything for a time. Just looked into my eyes. And gods were his eyes beautiful. They were a stormy blue with flecks of grey. I could have lost myself in them if he hadn't spoken. "How did this happen?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well when a man and a woman –"

"I _know _how it happened. But I thought if a woman wanted a one night stand she'd be on some kind of contraception!"

"Yea well, I wasn't exactly looking for a good screw was I? I haven't been on the pill for more than two years. You're the man – you should have wrapped up!" I screamed shrilly. Fuck I was going to lose my voice if I kept this up.

"Well… I just – I thought… it's not all my fault you know!" he retorted. Fail motherfucker. "Look, whatever. The point is – it happened. What are we going to do about it?" he added when he saw my look.

"What are _we _going to do? In case you haven't noticed – you have an oblivious girlfriend waiting at home. Do you mean what am _I _going to do? Because _I _am going to keep my child."

"You're keeping it…" he whispered.

I raised a cold eyebrow. "Yes."

"Well, um… do I… can I… do you want me to be there?"

I sighed and bounced my shoulders in a shrug. "I can't control you. Do what you want."

"I'd like to… be there. You know? I… just want to be the baby's father."

"Well… that's um… great I suppose… Look I have an appointment in two days with the doctor… you know, for an ultrasound? If you don't want to come… well… it's at Westward Medical Centre down of 24th street… 11am. But… what about… Alice?" I had practically sneered the name, even though the girl had done nothing wrong I still felt an abject hatred toward her.

"I'll worry about Alice. And I'll be there at the appointment." He vowed.

Well… that had went easier that I thought it would.

"And I'm sorry… about that day at my apartment." He blushed and looked at the ground, rubbing the back of his head. I wanted to coo and eat him up.

"Yeah… I'm sorry too…" I said as I backed away.

He frowned. "What for?"

"Well… My doctor told me to call all sexual partners and warn them that I had been diagnosed with Herpes… So… you should be checked." I called back as I turned and smirked to myself.

The revolving door had let me through when I heard a loud "Fuck!" screamed from the street and I took off at a bolt toward the elevator, cackling like a witch.

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**Ummm… This one is short… I didn't have much inspiration. :(!**

**Reviews? Oh, and ummm... Bella does not have Herpes - she was just being a bitch to Jasper. :D**


	7. Chapter Seven

**I don't know where I'm going with this chapter – I'm just writing because I feel like it!**

**Enjoy.**

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"I mean, really, they call homosexuality a disease! If it's a disease does that mean I can call into work? 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'"

I tired to ignore Edwards' babbling about homosexuality, but it was hard. Here I was – trying to get the next issue of _Vogue _ready for the stands and I have an angry, ranting, raging homosexual cursing the world pacing in front of my desk. I would have liked to tell him to shut up and sit but the amount of times he's heard me rant over the last two months, I figured it'd be good for him to have a go for once.

"And why can't there be gays in the army? I personally think they're just scared of a couple thousand guys with M16's going, 'who'd you call faggot?' And another thing –!"

Yeah, I'd be scared shitless if a fag waltzed over to me with a machine gun in his hand too.

"Do you know how hard it is to use Pronouns when trying to describe a date to someone who doesn't know you're a fag? 'I had a great time with… them.' Great! Now they don't think I'm queer – just a big slore! Anyway, the way I see it is my homosexuality is an act of Christian charity – all these men praying for a woman and I'm giving them my share!" he huffed and ran out of steam – finally – as he fell into one of the cushy chairs in front of my desk.

"Did you know my mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen years old? She thought I had a 'latent homosexual gene'. It wasn't latent, honey, trust me."

"Yes, E. You told me already." I told him patiently, rearranging some pictures on the page for the final copy. "Done!"

"Ohhh, show me honey!" Edward called as he rushed over and snatched the book out of my hand. "I don't know why you chose the French instead of the Italians. Paris is so cold – too much black. Now the Italian's, they know where it's at. Milan is got it good. It's rumpled with an edge of sophistication – you know? Rumpled?" he fluffed his hair and popped his collar.

"Rumpled… yeah."

I logged off the computer, grabbed the finished copy of the mag from Edwards' peach smelling hands and marched out to the print section. "Here. It's to be printed ASAP, and shipped off by tomorrow morning – got that?"

The boy whimpered and grabbed the copy in his greasy hands, running off to the printers.

"Right. Done. Let's go – I have an appointment at eleven and I do not want to be late."

* * *

I was sitting in the Westward Medical Centre, reading 'What To Expect When You're Expecting.' Waiting for my impregnator with my homosexual best friend beside me. Of course it's strange.

"Do you think she's a lesbian and he's gay – so they made one of those arrangements?"

"Disgraceful."

How did they even know I was here because I was pregnant?

"It's the pamphlet." Edward mumbled to me, flipping another page of NW.

"What?"

"The pamphlet! They think you're pregnant because of the pamphlet!"

"I said that out loud?" I asked.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Oh." I put the pamphlet down.

Crossing my legs I folded my arms and tapped my foot against the sterile white floor. "Where is he?" I hissed to no one in particular. "Its eleven twenty two and he's not here!"

"Maybe he changed his mind and doesn't want the thing."

"My baby is not a thing! Oh god… what if he changed his mind?"

"Singing a different tune now, aren't you? I thought you didn't want the baby."

"Look Mr. Negative, I'm trying to love it – I really am. I don't need you hovering and whispering pessimistic things in my ears!"

"Jesus, you're like a pregnant woman."

"I am pregnant!"

"Not really… I like to think you're not pregnant until you start showing."

"Why did I even bring you?" I moaned as I dropped my head into my hands.

Edward smiled slyly. "Because you love me."

"I wish I didn't." I mumbled to myself. "Oh thank god! What took you so long?" I screeched as Jasper came barrelling in the plexiglass doors.

"Sorry, I had to deter Alice. She wanted to have brunch." He puffed out as he sat on my otherwise, ignoring Edward completely. Who even has brunch these days? Oh right, Alice.

"You _still _haven't told her?" Edward enquired snidely, flipping through the magazine again.

"No. Not that it's any of your business." Jasper told him coldly.

"Can we not have a throw down right here? Please? I just want to –"

"Isabella Swan?" The nurse called out, standing by the desk with a file in her hand.

I grabbed all my shit and gave a glare to both my companions, stomping towards the perplexed nurse. "Hi."

"This way please."

She led us down an empty hallway and took a left, opening a door to a – would you believe it? – Sterile room. "The doctor will be with you in a moment, Miss Swan. Have a seat on the bed."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I slipped in past her and dropped all my shit next to the bed.

I climbed up onto the bed and sat, waiting in the awkward silence as Edward and Jasper refused to look at each other.

The door opened and in slipped an older woman with honey coloured hair and bright blue eyes. She surveyed the scene from behind her glasses and sat herself down on a swivel stool. "Hello Miss Swan. My name is Clarissa Redford and I'm going to be your doctor." She smiled tightly at me, eyeing the two idiots again. I shook her hand as she spoke again. "Just lay back and pull up your top."

I did as I was told, flinching slightly when the lights were dimmed a little.

"This is going to be cold." I didn't have time to prepare when suddenly there was gel spread all over and a machine hummed to life in the darkness. There were a few clicks that indicated the doctor was using the keyboard on the machine and the gel was spread even further with the ultrasound machine wand.

"There's your baby." She said, her soft voice penetrating the darkness like a knife.

"Where? I-I don't… see it…" I said as my eyes searched frantically over the picture.

"It's not uncommon at these stages, stay calm… here," she reassured me as she pointed to a point on the screen. "That's your baby."

It wasn't much, I concluded. It looked more like a large bean or nut than a child. The doctor laughed when I told her this. "It's still early – the baby hasn't developed much yet. Just wait, it wont be long before he or she is looking like a tiny human." She told me with a warm smile.

"Can I… Do you know the gender?" I asked her.

"No, sorry. We're usually able to determine the child's gender around sixteen weeks – but here, listen to this–" a couple of clicks and thumping sound followed. "–that's your baby's heartbeat."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I closed them and listened.

_Thump- thump- thump- thump- thump- thump- thump- thump._

I started slightly when a warm hand slipped into mine. Opening my eyes I saw Jaspers face as he gazed in wonder at the screen, looking full to the brim with pride. Looking around I saw Edward altering between smiling at me and the screen, his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears too.

I let out a gust of air and smiled up and Jasper, squeezing his hand tightly making him look at me. He smiled beautifully and bought my hand up to his mouth and gave it a soft kiss. The look in his eyes was enough to make me believe he wouldn't turn back in his decision. It was one of resolution. He wanted to be here as much as I did right now.

It was that moment that I realised I no longer was_ trying _to love my baby. I _did _love him or her. With all my heart.

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**I'm not so sure about the ending… but yeah. Review!**

**Thanks to Rosalie96 who makes me smile with all her reviews :)**


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